She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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