the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wish you could order shots online.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize