I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
