Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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