I wish my penis had an off switch
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
