this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
