I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
