I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
