my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize