Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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