worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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