I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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