Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
