apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
