What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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