Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
