A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
