Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
