I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
