We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
