I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
