I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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