one two three fourrrrnication!
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Also, beer. Big fan.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
