I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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