hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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