I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
