I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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