I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
