You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
