If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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