I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
