And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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