I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
