2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it glows. i had to have it.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
