i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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