i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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