It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize