tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
