hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize