You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
