I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
two words...techno handjob
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
