did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
