Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
the raccoons are back...
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