we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
