Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
