Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
