we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
