Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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