Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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