I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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