I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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