I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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