Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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