saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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