So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
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Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
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I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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