So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize