this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
