i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
