this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
