I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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