i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You left your phone here
Wait...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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